My parents hate me.

The longer I am a therapist for teens, the more emails I get from desperate teenagers. The emails are most often about a painful incident that makes a teen believe their parent(s) hate them.

Other reasons I get emails from teens:
1. Looking for help: How can I get my parents to say yes?
2. Looking for help: How can I make my parents like me more?
3. Looking for help: Why won’t my parents trust me?
4. Looking for help: Why won’t my parents let me be myself?

I generally respond to the email by letting the teen know that I need to know more about their situation and that I would love to meet with them and their parents. I might give a tiny bit of “advice” if something seems really obvious to me. Generally, though, I don’t hear back from the teens and then don’t end up in my office. So… I think about these teens…

My Parents Hate Me

If you feel like your parents hate you, we need to figure out what the disconnect is.

When parents: Try to get you to value the same things they value (church, school, volunteering, etc.)
They are: Doing their best to raise you into their version of a good and successful person. You do not have to value their church or way of dressing long-term. Before long, you will get to live your life as you choose. If this is a really big issue, it might help to sit down with a therapist to come to some compromises. Read here to find a therapist in your area.

When parents: Take away your cell phone/ipod/computer for the weekend…
They are: Generally trying to say that you broke the rules, and now you must pay. They don’t hate you if they do this to you, even though this brings you *PAIN.

When parents: Call you names…
They are: Either unsure that the name hurts you (could they be using sarcasm?) or they are not handling their anger the way adults should handle their anger. The name-calling usually does not mean they hate you, but that they don’t know what do to. Again, if name calling is happening a lot, I suggest therapy. If that is not an option, do your best to talk with trusted people about your situation. Know that the names they are calling you are not true and that their hurtful words actually show you that your parent is struggling. This is not your fault. I will write a blog at some point about how you can counter the name-calling in your mind with affirmations.

When parents: Hit you…
They are: Not managing their anger appropriately. Talk with a trusted adult. Hitting is not okay and therapy (at very least) is needed.

When parents: Ground you.
They are: Telling you that they don’t like something you did or said. This usually does not mean that they hate you. Grounding can feel really bad, though, and if it is being used constantly, you might need to negotiate some other consequences (not during an argument, though. That won’t work). Also, if you’re being grounded constantly, something needs to change. Work on somehow meeting your parents in the middle with whatever rule of theirs you keep breaking.

One last thing. Life is not always fair and sometimes you are dealt a bad situation. The one thing I can tell you is this: THIS IS TEMPORARY! YOU HAVE A LONG LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.

Teens: Please email me or comment below and I will write more about general topics to help you figure out what is going on when your parent does a certain thing. What do your parents do that makes you feel as if they hate you?

**Please note: I will respond to some comments/questions below. Because I am not your therapist (and, therefore, do not have all the information about your situation) please do not mistake my comments as professional advice. I cannot always respond to the questions quickly and if you are in need of professional help, do not rely on this blog for that type of support. Please call your therapist or 911 if you are in need of immediate hep.**

113 thoughts on “My parents hate me.

    • My parents are horrible! My older sister is going to college next year and my younger sister is in the 3rd grade, so im in the middle. If having college isnt enough pressure to put on top of me being isolated, my sister is now getting straight A’s while im getting C’s and D’s on my progress reports. All i can hear about is how smart and talented my older and younger sisters are while im just stupid and worthless. I have no idea what i want to be when im older and i get yelled at everyday, because my older sister has had her dream job with her since she was around 7 or 8. I hate how my parents favor my sisters more than me. Its been this way ever since my little sister, who is now 8 was born. 8 years now i have been the middle child and it really just plain sucks. My parents also punish me in ways that are not okay. I hate being hurt by them and when i sometimes say that i could call DCFS on them they laugh and say “i hope you get sent away”. Its gotten to the point where i cry everyday and i tell them i hate them at least 3 times in one day… The thing that scares me the most is that i really just don’t feel like i love them anymore.. I honestly just dont care for them. I wish we could be on the same page but every time i talk to them i wanna use mean words and hurt them. i think i need therapy but i dont wanna ask because i think that they will ignore me or make fun. I just wanna move out already! Im 15 and ive never felt so horrible. please help me.

      • Hello Girl In Need,

        I’m so sorry you’re feeling stuck, trapped, and hurt by your parents. Please know that you do not need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life at the age of 15! Your sister is lucky that she figured her goals out at such a young age, but you are normal for not yet know what you want to do! You have plenty of time to figure this out. Please know that.

        If you want to ask for therapy, but are too afraid, it might be a good idea to talk with another adult who can at some point make this recommendation to your parents. Do you have someone like this in your life? Someone your parents might listen to? If not, there are adults available who WANT to help. Please know this! Also, if you decide to ask your parents yourself, please ask them during a time when you are not fighting. Parents respond to requests better when they are not angry (we all do this!).

        Thinking of you,
        megan

    • Same condition is with me. I’m the middle child of my family and my parents hate me to the outmost. I don’t have the guts to quit my life but I swear I want to die. I failed in my 11th standard and my parents have been taunting badly since then. I just want to be smart and intelligent like others but my parents don’t want me to become. My elder brother is way smarter than me and he also taunts me like I’m an ass…. please God help me I don’t want to live on this fuckin place anymore……

      • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

        All my best to you,
        megan

  1. my parents hate my guts! they favor my sister and are ruthless and violent. my mom talks behind my back and tells my dad to send me to a hospital when i got in a fight with her, she wasnt respecting my personal space so i hit her to defend myself. My dad says my mom and sister are moving out of the house because of me and blames every single thing on me! its not fair, he says im to violent when he has hit me 3 times in my life, and i hit my mom that one time! they dont care that im majorly depressed or that im only 13! i dont want to live anymore, and i plan to make that clear..

    • Hi Amy,

      I’m sorry that this time is so hard for you and your parents. It sounds like tension is really high and that you don’t feel like things can change. If there is ongoing violence in your home, please tell a trusted adult at school so that proper steps can be taken. From there, your family should be able to get the resources you all need to develop more peaceful relationships. If your parents are willing to do in-home family therapy, that might be best at this time. I hope you will talk with an adult at school (church, wherever…) to get the help you need. All my best to you.

      megan

    • Hi Amy,

      The best thing I can tell you is that you need to keep talking to people that you trust. If you don’t have that, find it! Many adults out there (school, work, church, etc.) care and want to help. Someone will understand how you feel. They really will! That is also one thing that therapists are good at.

      I hope this helps.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  2. I am a 13 year old Asian girl. That means my parents are Asian as well of course. My life has been dumped in a pit… Yes I`m not perfect. I haven`t been studying as hard as usual. I learned cuss words at school. They even once saw porn on my iPod. But they think that my life is so easy, that school is easy, that friends are easy. They think that they know me. I have tried being honest, since they told me to, but when I tell them the truth about things they get angry. I am never allowed to text anyone or call. I am not allowed to interact any males. They don`t trust me. They HATE me. They call me names and insult me ALL the time. I have considered suicide so many times. They had me move from Florida to California. They don`t let me relax… EVER! I feel that my life as a kid is already gone. Therapy won`t help. They are terrible. HELP ME!!!

    • Hello,

      I am so very sorry that it feels to you that nothing can help your situation. A lot of times teens are only able to tell their parents how they feel during a fight/argument. Is is possible to (calmly) sit down with your parents to let them know how unhappy you are? If that doesn’t help, I think it would make sense to do family therapy. Because you mention that you (and your parents) are Asian, it might make sense to find an Asian therapist who does family therapy to help you. Sometimes that is easier for parents because they feel that the therapist understands culture, values, etc. I agree that individual therapy may not be the only outlet that will help you at this time. It sounds to me like you and your parents need to sit down with a neutral person in order for your parents to ACTUALLY hear your pain. I hope that you will consider talking with them or another adult in order to try to get them in for family therapy. As a family therapist, I am certain that family therapy could help you make changes. If anything, maybe you could “earn” a bit more freedom. Please don’t give up. Life is long and you have so much ahead of you. You will one day be your own adult and will be able to live as you wish.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  3. I need help. I come from a very broken past; I was born a mistake. My family deep down is very fragile and my parents aren’t that happy. I hardly see my father as he’s always at work and my mother is obsessed with cleaning, working, etc. Everyone sees me as things I don’t want them to. They see me as short and often classmates of mine make fun of me for that, my grandpa thinks I love golf like him even though I really don’t, and they expect perfect grades and me to never be mad at anything. They take their anger on me and school is no better, everyone is backstabbing. I also have a medical condition that I’m self conscious about. I hate this life where people expect things of me I don’t want to be and treat me horribly. I’ve cut, starved myself, and often wish I didn’t exist because deep I down I’m a mistake.

    • Hello Savannah,

      I am a 15 year old girl and I can relate to almost everything that I have just read from you. But let me assure you that you are not a mistake. In this world, everything happens for a reason. You were born for a reason and you are still living for a reason. You cannot control the way that others treat you, however you can help control how it affects you. When people expect you to be a certain way, it’s because they care enough of you to not let you grow up unsuccessful. They do not want you to be a failure, they want you to succeed. People who care about you put expectations on you because they want you to succeed. I have learnt that through my parents and their mistakes.

      It is not easy for you now. I do not completely understand your current situation or your feelings, but I can assure you that things work themselves out. Look forward to the past when everything will be better. Live each and every day. Keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

      Good luck girl,
      xx

  4. Oh, and the medical condition isn’t anything serious. It just causes my right foot to be smaller and it has a giant scar from surgery. Just kinda makes me more insecure….

  5. My parents hate me and i know it. I usually get good grades, As and Bs. But even when i get good grades, my parents yell at me about not trying hard enough and that im lazy and dont care. I am in 9th grade and i am 15 years old. This has been going on for as long as i can remember (before middle school). I feel that everything i do is wrong no matter how hard i try. Whenever i tell them how i feel about things (like school) its like they dont listen to me. Whenever i express myself im always shut down and ignored. They never listen to what i have to say. I live with my grandparent by the way, because my dad died and my mom is a drug addict. Ive been living with my grandparents since i was 7 years old and its always been like this. My parents almost never tell me how well i did on something. All they think about is how it could have been better. Sometimes when were in an argument, my grandpa will get so angry hell pull my up by my hair and yell in face about how im a failure (and they both will cuss me out). Ive been diagnosed with ADD for 4 years and have recently been diagnosed with deep depression. Ive been depressed since the beginning of the school year but wasnt treated for it until a few weeks ago. Ive brought up suicide multiple times in conversation or in arguments and they always laugh in my face and say im over dramatic. That im ridiculous for thinking that or even bringing it up. I talk to my friends about this stuff all the time. My friends parents are therapists and they agree my situation is harsh. I dont know what to do. They wont listen to what i have to say. Ive been thinking about just running away or going to a friends house just to get away. Some of my friends hav small bags for me in their houses incase i need a quick getaway. Plz help me. What do i do? (Ive also had therapy but my parents took me out of saying i dont need it. I also dont find it right to laugh in a depressed persons face when their thinking of suicide.)

    • Hi Tessa,

      You are right; your situation is very complicated and difficult. Since you have ADD and Depression, finding a therapist you connect with is very important. Because your dad passed away and because your mom struggles with addiction, the best thing you can do is find as many supportive adults in your life and lean on them. I’ve seen teens lean on teachers, parents of friends (like you’re doing with your friend whose parents are counselors) and any other adult who is trustworthy, safe, and stable.

      You need to tell someone about the physical abuse that has happened between you and your grandpa. Telling someone at school is a good option. This does not mean that you will get sent somewhere else, but that people will come and evaluate your situation. A professional needs to evaluate your situation, just in case you are being abused. If so, the professional will offer your family services or alternate living plans. It is very complicated, but will give you some hope.

      Keep going, Tessa. You are amazing, strong, and have friends who love you! Keep talking and getting support from those you trust.

      Also, it might be helpful to arrange to stay with a friend for a week (or so) this summer. Maybe a break will be helpful for everyone.

      I hope this helps.

      I’m thinking of you!
      megan

  6. My parents are super strict and they won’t let me EVER hang out with friends, I’ve never had a sleepover in my entire life because they tell me I’m too young and Immature. I’m 12 and probably the most mature in my grade. Whenever my friends ask me to hang out I have to say no because if I even ask, then my parents (mom in particular) will yell and scream at me for even bringing it up. They’re not physically abusive, but I think they’re verbally abusive, sometimes my mom would yell at me saying that I make her life miserable and that I’m a little B****. She say’s that to me and my older sister. And then sometimes when I tell my dad that I don’t want to do something, or that I forgot to do something he will hit me. Other times when he is “happy” he will just yell and say “go F****** finish/ do it” I don’t have many chores, but they own their own business and they make me work for them. I think that’s Illegal but i I’m not sure. Sometimes when I say that they can’t make me work for them, they tell me to go call the cops on them, but I never do because I’m scared of what the outcome will be. Sometimes they make me feel like they hate me, and I sometimes feel like i hate them. I almost told my mom that I hated her but she was abused when she was younger, and Isn’t abusive now, but she has threatened to beat me

    • Hi Kali,

      I can just HEAR the high level of stress that you’re dealing with right now. I see that you were in therapy before, and I’m wondering if your parents will allow therapy again. You could let them know that you would like to work on “stress management” and see if that is something they will support. If not, can you talk with the counselor at school?

      I’m sorry I can’t solve these problems for you. Ultimately, you and your parents will have to work through this together. That is why I am asking you if you can speak with a trusted adult. In the end, you will have to work with your parents to find solutions. Also, Kali: If your dad is hitting you, you need to tell an adult at school, church, work, wherever.

      I hope you can remember that life is very long and that you will not have to live with your parents forever! You still have lots of life to live!

      Thinking of you,
      megan

  7. I’m pretty sure my mom is verbally abusive. She’s wonderful when she’s feeling good, but when she’s frustrated she takes it out on me and calls me names and tells me all the things I do wrong (some aren’t true) when my dad isn’t working (he’s never home) she tells him her story which is at least 50% incorrect. She doesn’t trust me and believed my three year old sister who said I pulled her hair (I didn’t) and later when my sister cried she screamed “WHAT DID YOU DO NOW” even though I didn’t touch her. She’s a snoop on my things, and whenever I try to express my feelings I get in trouble and end up bottling it inside. Twice it’s been so bad I locked myself in the bathroom and well….cut myself. She’s very passive aggressive also which makes me feel like crap. I struggle daily with depression as I pretty much know no one who is genuinely kind and accepts me for who I am, and she’s never been there for me. I’m tired of being treated horribly at school to come home to being yelled at for not being perfect enough. All my life (literally when I was six I used I stare in the mirror and focus on how fat my thighs were) I’ve been insecure and whenever I tell her about it she tells me she’s sick of me constantly whining. I’m a mistake. I honestly want to die because there is no one. No trusted adult, no friend who understands, no mother nor father who loves me unconditionally. I’m trapped and inside I’m dead.

    • Hi Lollipop,

      I’m sorry you’re going through so much right now. I can hear the pain in your message and I’m so sorry you feel trapped. A couple of ideas that I have seen other teens do:
      1. Schedule a time to go and talk with your mom. Do not talk to her in the middle of a fight or argument and tell her how badly you feel about everything (home, school, friends). Even when parents are stressed, they usually do not want to know that their teen is struggling in all areas. Tell her you feel dead inside and that you feel like things are not going to get better. Since you have started cutting, getting the help of a therapist really will help you in the long run.
      2. Find an adult to talk with at school.
      3. Try to talk with your dad about how badly you feel. Don’t blame your mom for your feelings. Tell your dad how you feel about school, home, friends, life. Maybe he can hear you.

      Please talk with someone! You are NOT alone!!

      As I say to all teens who write to me… Please remember that life will change and that you will have complete freedom to live as you wish one day.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  8. i’m 16, my parents hate me for real & they treat me like crap & like a
    maidservant & their goal is to conquer me… i hate myself for being with them & i don’t want to live with them anymore, i hate myself 🙁 what i should do?

  9. I am only 13, but I have severe depression because of my mom. When she first found out that I was a cutter, she wasn’t supportive at all. She just told me that I was stupid and had no reason to cut myself. She said that I wasn’t depressed and that I just wanted attention. She talked to all her friends about me, but not in a good way. They would laugh at me and mock me and talk about what a horrible person I was, my stepdad included. They think my life is so easy but it’s not. My grandmother tried to get me a therapist but my mom refuses to let me go and says that all I need is for her to be home more. She couldn’t have been more wrong. When she is home, she’s either asleep or throwing a fit. Knocking my stuff off shelves, screaming and throwing a fit. When I try and tell her how much it upsets me, she tells me to get over myself because I don’t really have any problems.

    She always defends my stepdad who calls me names like slut, whore, fat, and other horrible things. They know I have self esteem issues but they don’t care. Its gotten to the point where I don’t even want to live here anymore. I wish she would let me move in with my grandparents but she wont, even though they would happily take me in. I cry myself to sleep most nights and think of ways I could kill myself. I can’t do that though because my great grandfather is ill and cares too much for me. What do I do?

    • Hi Gillian,

      I’m sorry you and your parents are struggling. Is it possible to ask your mom to see a counselor because you want to learn how to get along better with her? If not, please talk with your school counselor to see if he/she can help. You have so much going on; it is clear to me that you need more support.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  10. Im 12 and i think i may have depression because of my mom. She freaks out on me for every little thing i do. We were talking in the car and she started screaming at me because i wasnt answering them a certain way. She always tells me i dont appreciate things. Every day all i hear is im a worthless, ungrateful soul. It hurts. I dont want counselling or anything. I just need help. I cant do this everyday. Help. All i want is help.

    • Hi Cat,

      I’m sorry you and your mom are going through this. It sounds super stressful. I understand that you don’t want to go to therapy, so you have one thing to figure out: How can you talk with your mom about this without fighting during that conversation. A couple of suggestions:
      1. Do not try to talk about this when either of you are frustrated, annoyed, or angry at ALL.
      2. Start of the conversation by saying, “I feel so sad/upset/confused by our relationship lately…” (Instead of “You freak out on me for everything I do, I’m so sick of how you treat me!”
      3. Look at my blog: How to get your parents to say yes, (http://counselingmn.com/how-to/how-to-get-your-parents-to-say-yes/) and follow the first few steps. You have to find a way to get more information from your mom. You have to figure out what you also need to do to make your interactions go more smoothly. That will not happen unless you hear her side of things.

      Good luck to you,
      megan

  11. Hello,

    It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot at home. I hope that you will find a way to get help and that you and your parents can see eye-to-eye on some things. Now that school is just about in session, I recommend talking with a school counselor if you’re still feeling suicidal. It sounds like you need more support than you’re getting.

    Please take care of yourself and know that these problems are temporary.

    All my best to you,
    megan

  12. My parents yell at me all the time. I argue sometimes because I feel the point needs to be proven but it never ends well. My dad says certain things and I feel like he wants to argue with me. And he’ll smile and say “chill”. It makes me so mad! They just yell at me constantly for little things like leaving my shoes around the house or something. I feel like they have very bad parenting skills because I don’t feel love from them. They want me to get a job and they don’t understand how I don’t have time. I’m so busy with school and babysitting. I don’t know what to do anymore because I’m so tired of constantly fighting with them about stupid things they get super mad at!

    • Hi Heidi,

      It sounds to me like you and your parents need to sit down and have a discussion about your stress level, the pressure you feel, and what the expectations are around the house. I can’t help you with the shoes be left around the house 🙂 as many parents expect a level of cleanliness from their kids/teens. That being said, it would be good if you could have a discussion to make expectations clear, as well as for you to explain to them that you feel overwhelmed (from schoolwork and babysitting). Please choose an okay time to discuss this and try not to get too mad during the discussion if they say things that annoy you! If you get mad because they say something that is annoying, you will likely lose the progress you have made in the discussion (because it will turn into a fight about their annoying behavior).

      Good luck to you.

      megan

      • I already have talked with them about this and they said I am being rediculas and need to grow up and manage my time better. I talk to them all the time (at good times) and they just don’t care! They expect so much from me. I cant be perfect! They don’t understand.

  13. My parents are abusive. When my books were taken from my locker, my parents kept shouting and calling me stupid.They keep saying it was my fault people barged in and stole my books and recently became physical with me. My sister gets good grades and mine are below average,they mostly ignore me when it comes to school and take every opportunity to insult me.I am depressed and possibly mentally ill sometimes to the point of suicide which I attempted twice.

    • Hello Victor,

      I’m so sorry that you and your parents are not getting along right now. If the conflict is getting to the point of becoming physical, please talk with an adult at school (teacher, nurse, social worker) or someone who can help you get the help you need. It might also be helpful to talk with your parents about how you would like to see a counselor about your struggles in school, thoughts of suicide, etc. You need more support!

      Please reach out and get the help you need. The fights with your parents will not last forever; in other words: You have a lot of life to live after high school! There is so much to see and do. My hope is that you will be able to get the support and love you need (ideally from your parents at some point) to keep on trying; to keep on living.

      I hope this helps. Please know that I’m thinking of you.

      megan

  14. Hello, I really need someone to talk to…
    I live in a culture where your education is really important and after that you can get married. My parents kept pushing me so hard to go to the university that I lost it under the pressure. I was so stressed out that I couldn’t memorize the stuff I learned it just didn’t got to my brain. I failed this year my graduation and my parents are so mad at me.. they yell at me all the time saying I don’t do my best. I told them it was the pressure and stress and they say everybody has stress during exams and they didn’t fail. They will never understand how depressed they make me telling me only what I do wrong. They throw it in my face all the time. My sister went to university and they give her everything she want. I got a job and i will do this year again but it will never be good enough for them.. i will never good enough for them to love me like they love my sister. Even if i graduate this year i will be the kid who ‘had to do it in 2 years’ or the kid ‘who wont get married because she will be too old’. I’m so sick of this and i really lost control over who i am because i push myself to be what they want and this year it just collapsed i couldn’t do it anymore..

    • Hi Lara,

      It sounds like you had a really hard year last year. Sometimes the pressure gets to be too much for a lot of us. You are not the only person who will be completing your senior year in 2 years! Sometimes we just need a break; a little more time to get through things. That is okay. My hope is that with a bit more time, your parents can come around and see that you are still doing what you’re “supposed” to do. You’ll still graduate and will be just one year older. You will still be able to marry at a young age and do all the things you want to do in your life.

      Your parents may take some time to come around, but hopefully they will see that you’re doing just fine now. Your body was not going to allow you to keep pushing like you were. You did the right thing by taking the time you needed to take. I hope you can see that! This will pass, please know that!

      Warmly,
      megan

  15. I love my stepmom a lot. She is mean to me and it makes me sad. When I try to talk about it she says she does it because of how I treat her. I try to treat her the best I can. I use to not obey her at all and she still brings that up all the time. Who’s perfect? Yes I made mistakes but why can’t she stop bringing them up? I am depressed because of her. She’s told me she doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to be around me. She’s happy and makes it perfectly known every time I have to go to my mom’s house. If I do do something wrong she always makes it sound worse than what it is. She tells my dad and always throws made up things into the story. I’m tired of it, but I can stop thinking about her or be mad at her because I love her a lot. It’s sad because we use to have a great relationship and now it’s HORRIBLE. Please give me advice. I can’t get therapy so please don’t suggest it. What should I do? If I tell my dad he doesn’t believe me, and if I tell my mom she will stop me from seeing them.

    • Hi Katie,

      It sounds like you love your stepmom a lot, and that you have made mistakes with her. That is okay, we all make mistakes. That being said, it sounds like she is unable to move past whatever it is that you did. Because you are unable to sit with an objective adult (therapist) and talk about this with your stepmom, it might be helpful to find a way to have a calm, apologetic conversation with your step mom. Find out what she needs from you to move forward in your relationship. Some parents get “stuck” and are never unable to move past the hurt that happened; my hope is that your stepmom can move on. The key to that conversation is for you to not become angry (even if she says something that you do not remember to be true). You will both have different perspectives about past incidents, and the details aren’t important. Just find out what needs to happen for the two of you to move forward.

      I hope this helps, Katie!

      Warmly,
      megan

  16. Im Ainee, I’m 13 and my parents really don’t care about me or love each other. I do good in school and whenever i do something im extremely proud of, they just say ‘hmm ok’. But when my older sister or my younger brother do anything small it’s always ‘look what ____ did!!! well done!!’ and when i try to talk to them they don’t listen, they don’t even pretend like they’re listening and i just end up stopping mid-sentence. My mum makes me do all the chores. My dad hasnt talked to me since i was 11 and now all he does is yell at me for little things. I’m not allowed at home alone or allowed to go out with friends without an adult or allowed at sleepovers but i dont know why. My sister’s always allowed, even when she was younger than me. I only have about a couple of new clothes this year, and most of my clothes are still from when i was 9 and 10, even though they’re too small. But my siblings get tons of clothes each year. I also struggle with eating disorder but my parents don’t try to help me. It’s always ‘go eat, you’re a stick (blahblah)’ and they make really spicy food which i can’t eat, and i end up throwing it away (this has been going on since i was a kid). Also I’ve been to 5 different schools and I have to move again next year because my parents think they can make me move schools so that they can pick me up easier, even though i have to leave my best friend and make new friends all over again. Also my parents always tell me i’m ugly and my hair looks like i haven’t showered in three weeks, but i shower everyday and try my hardest to look good. My parents yell and ground me for life. They don’t allow me to text my friends and i don’t know why either. If I try talk to them calmly, they yell at me and tell me that they will never do anything for me if i’m so ungrateful, and i think to myself ‘you never do anything anyway’. And since i’m not allowed to go places by myself i cant go to therapy without them knowing, and they obviously wont ever allow family therapy. I want to run away but that’s not going to work, and I’ve thought about suicide but I know people who really love me like my best friend and my grandma would be hurt. When I was a baby until I was a toddler my parents left me with my grandma while they went traveling separately, so that’s why I think they never really got to bond with me as a baby so they never learned to love me.

    • Hi Ainee,

      I’m so sorry you’re in such a hard situation with your family right now. I really do believe that if your parents could hear you, if they could hear how much pain you’re in, they might want to shift some of the things that are happening at home. If you are unable to go to therapy, I believe that you need to find another trustworthy adult who can be helpful to you (teacher, school social worker, school psychologist, pastor, etc.). Maybe one of these adults will be able to help you get the help you need.

      Please reach out and get the support from these adults and from the people who love you (your grandma and best friend).

      I hope this is helpful. Please know that you are loved and that you have a beautiful and long life ahead of you.

      Warmly,
      megan

  17. I don’t know what to say but today is a special day In My country like Christmas in Europe where families should unite and have good times together, so in the morning I woke up at 9 and when I went to the family room , I found that my parents have already finished breakfast and the dishes are waiting for me to wash them cuz I usually of this , but later I was joking and complaining when my “mom” started yelling and telling me to go to my room , now I’m writing this alone in the house cuz they went out with my sister to have dinner in some restaurant …. This is not the first time but they always treat me this way cuz I had problems in math last year and I’m not a perfect child in thier noble family , they tell me that I’m fat and short ( I’m 5’4) , I started attending a new school this year. so ,I don’t have best friend and had one jerk boyfriend 1 year ago ( we lasted for only 2weeks) , I have step brothers who only care about thier wives and girlfriends and money , I started considering moving abroad when I’m legal (I’m 16) …… I wish you could help me cuz I feel so small and worthless right now … Bye

    • Hi Norah,

      It seems like you feel left out and alone. Can you calmly tell your parents about some instances that have hurt you? It sounds like they need to know about how hurt you are (NOT during a fight). If you have tried to calmly talk with them and have not made progress, then I suggest talking with a trusted adult to see if they can help you.

      I hope this helps.

      Take care. You only have two years until you get to live as you wish! Please remember that!
      megan

  18. I really need advice and help. My mum hates me, she found porn on my laptop from a few years back. She thinks I’m a lesbian and even called my best friend ‘bent’. Dad is the only one being nice to me, he’s tried to talk to mum and tried to get her to talk to me but nothing works. She said she feels sick when she sees me. Name calling is so bad i can’t write it :/ I’m 17 years old, surely I’m old enough to make my own choices? I’m 18 in December and i want to do my own thing but I’m scared mum won’t let me. She’s banned me from going out in the evenings and said I’m not allowed to see my best mate, i can’t live like this. I want to run away and i have had anorexia in the past and I’m afraid something like this will trigger it again. I just wish mum could see how much she’s hurting me and understand how far she’s gone.. what do i do? 🙁

    • Hi Siobhan,

      Turning 18 and living with your parents is complicated. It seems as if we should have many more freedoms, because we’re adults, but then parents are still paying for everything, etc. which results in their being able to control things until you move out. I know this is hard, but it tends to be how it is. If you aren’t going to move out in December, I suggest starting to work with a therapist or counselor. Perhaps your mom will be able to hear you with another adult in the room.

      Wishing you well,
      megan

  19. My parents continually yell at me for not having good grades, yelling back at them when they scream at me…. Last night they had a talk with me about what I wanted to do for the rest of high school (even though I’m a freshman) and instead of being supportive and helpful they just yelled at me and made me feel like I wanted to die, they never accepted that I wanted to become successful, rich or happy. My father (or the man who I call my father, I don’t know or care any more) wouldn’t let me out of the room until I told him the “truth” and what he accepted as the truth was that I wanted to work at a Mcdonalds and serve all of my friends who go on to become rich and successful and let them treat me like crap. I don’t really care about this any more, my life was happier without them. At school at least I can relax. But when I come back after school from soccer, I don’t feel like going home. I end up hurrying into my room and pretending I’m not there. Now they’ve taken away my rides to school, my packed lunch, and all because of grades. I don’t even know if writing here will help me. I’ll probably never come back to this page again so what’s the point? This can’t help me. And neither can counseling or that crap. Oh, believe me, it’s failed. It has. And now my mother (again, the woman I call my mother) just came into my room, shut off the lights, and opened the curtains so it wouldn’t waste electricity. Tell me that’s not heartless. Tell me. All those people out there who say life is full of good things are wrong. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve never believed in suicide. I just get really depressed and apathetic.

    • Hi Logan,

      I can tell that you’re super mad. Sounds like you have reason to be. Maybe therapy has failed you (you’re right; it doesn’t always “work”). The way I see it, you have a few options: Keep fighting with them like this (which will likely make everything escalate), or find a way to make changes with them. Parents generally love their kids enough to make changes, but sometimes they’re just as lost about how to help as you are about how to deal with them. If you don’t want to see a counselor for help, can you think of any other kind of person who could help? Maybe a pastor if they go to church, a coach (if you have a good soccer coach who helps with more than soccer), umm…. others?

      I hope this helps, Logan.

      Thinking of you,
      megan

  20. Is it wrong to think my whole life’s meant to make them feel bad? I mean, I still love them for some reason, and I don’t know why! I want to do something to make them feel bad, but then I don’t because I still feel… Whatever. Point is, I still love them and I don’t like that. I’ve wanted to hate them but I can’t. I just end up regretting it

  21. I’m 13 and my stepdad yells at me whenever he gets the chance to. I don’t even do anything to make him yell at me. When he does yell he’ll get mad at me for yelling back. But I only yell back at him because a.) he yelled at me first and b.) I’m just trying to defend myself. I have four younger step sisters who treat me the same way he does. My mom recently has stopped trying to fix the problem each time and take his side. She basically let him take over. He gets the say in everything. If I want to hang with my friends it’s an automatic no. He takes my phone/iPod away for absolutely no reason. The main problem is him and my sisters. What really upsets me is that my mom doesn’t even try. She just goes with what he says and gets nervous when I ask her if I can do something and he’s not home. I sick and tired of being treated poorly to the point where I would be willing to run away or die. I’ve never cut but someday I might. What should I do?

    • Hi Hailsy,

      I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone at home right now. If it is possible, it sounds like a private conversation with your mom might be a good thing. If you tell her that you’re really struggling emotionally and that you are very unhappy, my hope is that she will be willing/able to get you some help. Down the road, it will likely benefit you and your family to do some family therapy (EEK! I know teens hate that term: FAMILY THERAPY… but really, it could help you guys). It would not have to be a really long therapy or anything, just something to help your mom and stepdad figure out the right structure, etc. at home.

      I hope this helps you.

      megan

  22. my parents are losers, they call me lazy when i try really hard. i really do and this hurts because no matter what I do i will never be good enough. I’ll never get rid of this name and i know it, even if i work myself to death.. u c i live in a huge house and my parents are psychotic with the whole cleaning thing. we even have 2 maids and my mom says I’m not pulling my weight.. anywhere in school, at home, in life, nowhere… i live in the shadow of my older brother who is just perfect in their eyes and I can understand why. my brother is amazing even though he is lazy and is a slob. My parents are always cleaning up after him, even i clean up after him cos for some reason I don’t want him to get in trouble (even though I know that will never happen). I take the blame for most things and he always seems to blame everything on me and i refuse to fight back because then I’ll be blowing a big deal out of “nothing”. my parents don’t like me… they may love me but they dont like me at all. my brother was diagnosed with a hyperactive thing when he was younger so he fails basically…. but since i wasn’t taken to a child specialist when i was younger (now 15) i dont have a problem. its like im holding the burden of expectations and dreams they wanted to live through my brother and the ones they want to live through me… I thnk I’m ADD but who cares right.. honestly i break down everyday and I don’t know what to do anymore.. I don’t sleep at night because who can sleep with knowing their disappointing their parents? i love them i really do.. they’re my parents and i get food, shelter and clothing from them.. I’m just tired for being called lazy when i try to the best of my abilities.. I pray to God everyday for the verbal abuse to stop and the loneliness, the sanctions since I’m not allowed to go anywhere, I can’t imagine carrying like this. I’m frustrated… I can’t eat and I’ve lost 5kg already! please help me… what can I do?

    • Hi anchor,

      I’m so sorry you feel so isolated, unappreciated, and misunderstood. It seems to me that you and your parents need to find a way to sit down and speak directly with one another (using honesty) WITHOUT fighting. If there is a way to do this on your own, then this would be a good option. A few of my other posts address how to talk with your parents without fighting, etc. so check those posts out. If talking with them alone is not an option, I suggest asking your parents for help. Let them know that you have some things you would like to work out with a therapist or school counselor. Work with the counselor on how to get through to your parents. Most parents will really care if they can hear how you’re feeling. Maybe your parents don’t like you right now, or at least that’s how you feel, but they love you and probably don’t want you to get hurt.

      I hope you can find a way to talk with them about this. You all deserve some peace.

      Thinking of you,
      megan

  23. Theres a girl at my school. She suffers from umm I dont know well she stays with her grandparents and they hate her. For some reason since birth they despised her. They do not allow her to do anything not even go to see her mother in the hospital. This girl is hurt. After all the years of verbal abuse she became angry I guess and decided to talk back and do drugs and other stupid things. I love this girl and I worry about her alot and I want to know what I can do. Therapy isnt an option in this case cause her grandparents probly wont attend or let her go anyway

    • Hi Joshua,

      Thank you for your concern for this girl. I love that you are concerned about her… your heart is in the right place. Is it possible to talk with one of the school counselors to see if they are able to help at all? If not, what about a teacher at school? Maybe some of the adults at school will be able to help get her the help or be the help that she needs.

      Again, thank you for looking out for her. You are a great person.
      megan

  24. Why do my parents ignore me?
    My step mom used to care about me but for the last few years
    she and my dad has been ignoring me and even getting angry with
    me if I persist, trying to be heard.

    I understand that she’s young (22) but she’s a good mother to my little
    brother, in fact, she’s obsessed with him. I’ve tried really hard to be a
    good daughter for her. I clean the whole house, do the yard work, take
    care of the animals, study hard, am respectful, and even ask every day
    if there is something she needs.

    I’m home schooled, don’t have any friends and never go out, so it hurts
    a bit when I see them laughing, playing games and having fun when I can’t
    be included. I’ve tried suggesting family activities but they aren’t interested.

    If I need help with something or am looking for something they say there’s
    nothing they can do or that they don’t know but if they have the same problem, they instantly have a solution.

    Whenever I try to talk to them they just act as if they didn’t hear me and walk away. I can tell they hear me because sometimes they will glance at me and stop talking but when I’m finished they will go on as if I hadn’t said anything.
    They will begin talking in the middle of my sentence and then get angry at me for ‘interrupting’ them.

    I’ve pretty much given up trying to get them to hear me, I want to know how I can better accept it.

    Thank you.

    • Hi Hanna,

      I’m so sorry that you’re trying so hard and that your dad and step mom are not responding to you. If you are working to accept the idea that it is not possible to shift these dynamics, I believe you will need support. I hope you have a friend who can understand what you are going through, or a trusted adult, therapist, school counselor, etc.

      Hanna, you deserve to be loved and responded to. I wish you all the best.

      Thinking of you,
      megan

  25. My parents hardly talk to me. Three or four days could pass without them saying a single word too me, even if we’ve been in the same room together. They make it clear that they like my four brothers better. When my mother goes to town, she brings my brothers without telling me that they’re leaving, even if I had told her earlier that I needed a few things from town and need to go.
    When I call my mother, she doesn’t pick up. If I text her, she rarely answers me. When I absolutely need to speak with her, I go to her room and knock on the door, asking to come in and talk to her. She gets angry and makes it clear that I’m unwanted.
    My brothers get special treatment. They get anything they ask for (video games, shoes, toys, etc) even though money is super tight, but yet when I ask for something I need, they act as if I’m ungrateful and I’m a brat.
    I’m told by other people that I’m lucky my parents don’t care what I do, because I can leave the house without asking, even if it’s at three in the morning. And I don’t need their permission for anything. I’m told that I’m super lucky that they let me leave the state to stay overnight at my boyfriends house. But I don’t feel lucky. I think they don’t care if I leave, just because they don’t care about me.
    My house is extremely loud with the screaming and yelling of my other family members (we love with my grandparents, aunt, and her kids because of a family betrayal) and I absolutely hate it here. I’m only 15, so I’m too young to leave. I’ll be 16 in a couple months, and I was glowing to get a job to save up so I can leave sooner, but time isn’t moving fast enough for me. I feel trapped and worthless. The only person I can talk to is my boyfriend. None of my family members talk to me or see my troubles.

  26. Hi there Megan
    Reading this page has made me feel a lot less sorry for myself, but I’ll still hope you answer me even though I don’t have scary issues like most of these girls.

    I’ve written an epistle, I realize. And I know you probably do this in your free time and I’m sorry to waste it. I think getting an IRL therapist is out of the question for my parents and the only progress to be made is interpersonally. Perhaps there are some books or sites you could point me to that will cover similar/same issues? Thanks.

    19 yo, girl.

    I have always (since 6-7) felt a disconnect from my mother. I feel like we just don’t see the world the same way and while I can observe and understand things from her view, she is incapable of understanding me or mine. Growing up my father and I often had great intellectual conversations (and we still do) and a personality connection, but I feel we also are slowly being cut off from eachother. Emotions are ambiguous and frustrating to me, and often when I try to discuss issues I have a hard time communicating them/get overwhelmed by them and they come out very strongly (sobbing, screaming in anger, use of stronger words than I actually feel). I know they love me and I do love them (especially my dad) but I just feel like it’s all for naught and we will always have ongoing conflict.

    My mom is a visionary and always has a laundry list of things to do. My 3 brothers and I have always been utilized to help her achieve her goals (cleaning, yard work, preparing for parties, etc.). This wouldn’t be bad at all, really, but my brothers and I have always rebelled (more strongly the last 5~ years, as we get older) because I think they all feel the disconnect as well. We aren’t invested in the vision and we react because our own interpersonal needs aren’t being met. One instance that I have been thinking sbout especially is a time 3-4 years ago when my parents stayed home (my mom’s decision) from a Christmas church banquet/play/choir that I was part of so they could spend the time with their grandkids (I have older sisters who have families). My mom’s reasoning was that my sis was moving to Hawaii indefinitely and my parents wouldn’t get to see them. My mom was like “That’s okay with you, right?”. What was I supposed to say?! I’m not assertive. If you know much about personality theory, I’m an ISFP and measure very low on assertiveness. After the fact I realized how much it hurt me for them to choose their grandkids over me. My mom’s reasoning ended up being obsolete, as they went on a trip and visited them/they came back and visited us for the holidays and now they have moved back and live 1 neighborhood over.

    When I say interpersonal needs aren’t being met, I mean emotional relation, interest in our interests simply because we’re interested in things, willingness to understand/learn to understand, that kind of thing. My dad works but does spend evenings “with us” (i.e. In the familly/living room, but we’re usually all absorbed in electronics or books. I will sit in the room with him and talk but it’s always about safe/nonemotional topics.) My mom is usually in and out of the house all day, running errands and working on her latest projects. (Right now the project is buying a house for a ministry they run.) She’ll get home and make dinner, then be exhausted and around 7-8 go watch tv in her room. In the end, they don’t observe/are oblivious to emotional/relational needs and therefore don’t make time for them.

    Conflicts:
    Cleaning room
    Getting a job
    “Helping”
    Dating

    My parents have been trying to get me to clean my room consistently for years. I have not done this since I was little, and I can’t understand why they won’t let it go. My room is an extension of my person, and I feel fine if it is messy. My drawers, shelves, and closet are all meticulously maintained, it’s just random stuff on my floor and surfaces- a mix of stuff that just hasn’t been put away and stuff that I don’t know what to do with/want. No one else uses my room unless we have guests over. (Which I clean it meticulously for). It should be MY prerogative, especially as I’m older, to order my room as I like it since no one else uses it.

    After searching for a job last August- heading into my freshman year, I found a receptionist position that looked great. I worked there for 6 months and for the first time in non-math classes I got B’s. (2 A’s, 2 B’s). (And it’s not because college is harder, as I had taken a full semester of college work the spring before, as a senior. I got 4 A’s.) After I lost my job (they didn’t need the position, in the end I would sit around for 95% of my day, doing nothing.) I got depressed and gave up on a class and got an F. My other classes were B’s. My mom has been badgering me to get a job since I lost it in January. I have put out hundreds of apps but unemployment is high in my area and there just aren’t a lot of jobs. I want to sell some silver I have and use the money to tide me over until next semester when I have a lighter course load, which my dad thinks is fine but my mom says “You need something that isn’t school to get you out of the house for a few hours here and there” well thanks but no thanks, I’m taking 18 units and going to a youth group already and don’t want to try to study around a work schedule. It would exhaust me. She just can’t understand. I don’t know how to make her understand.

    Helping in the kitchen/housework, like cleaning my room, is another constant issue. My parents *say* they would like me to help make meals more, but unless I’m doing the basics like salad, setting the table, or chopping something I feel like I always do it wrong or too slowly. My mom has no patience for me to help her in the kitchen but she doesn’t even realize that. She will give me a job and then take it over when I haven’t finished. Instead of just giving me time they just think I’m lazy and selfish. I just don’t want to fail constantly, so I don’t partake in situations where I know I will fail… I avoid helping with dinner as much as possible.

    Dating is a recent thing, but all the elements of our issues manifest themselves yet again. Over control, like with my bedroom. Not being observant or even asking about what I want to do. Rules are made according to their systems and values– which I agree with in other facets of life, like worldview/religion. We all have traditional views on dating and I will be a virgin when I marry/etc. A guy who I really really like asked if he could date me. After a lot of “discussion” they basically said he has to be done with college. That’s two years away. I’m not saying that I can’t wait that long, I just think it’s unreasonable because now if we end up dating and then break up, one/both of us is probably going to be hurt much more deeply than we would if we had just dated already and figured out if we could commit to eachother on our own. To me, it seems like I have to be exclusive emotionally or else I’m cheating, even though no promises have been made and it’s *technically* just a period of friendship. So if I spend these two years thinking we might date and then nothing happens I will be hurt. (I’m already hurt because he’s distanced himself a bit, probably because he didn’t want to get too attached with such a long timeframe either.) And if we get there and I’m interested in someone else, I’ll hurt him. This is a no win scenario UNLESS we get together and stay together! If we drift apart and both are equally unattached, it would almost be a relief because then I wouldn’t feel so loyal to an idea/not hurting anyone and I would hopefully understand my own emotions about it too. I feel like my parents don’t understand this. Again, I don’t know how to make them understand.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    • Hello and thanks for writing,

      You have written a beautiful message, and my answer is going to seem too simple (because it is online). That is because I feel you would best work this out by taking part in your own (individual) therapy. You are writing about things that have happened that have hurt you, and I am sorry that it seems that your mom has been too busy to prioritize your needs. That being said, because you are a young adult, the things you are wanting to change (clean room, dating, etc.) are best changed when living independently. You are differentiating from your parents, which is developmentally appropriate at your age. It is going to be very difficult (especially without therapy) to fix this with your parents. Usually the best thing to do is to find a way to move out so that you can completely begin living your adult life.

      I am sorry this answer is so simplified. Without having you in therapy (so that I can fully understand all of the dynamics) it is difficult to respond. I hope this helps in some way so that you can move through the pain you currently feel.

      Warmly,
      megan

  27. Hi. I’ve been having some problems with my mom and her husband. I’m generally a good kid (btw I’m 17 years old), I get pretty much straight A’s, I don’t do any kind of partying, I help out around the house and with my grandma who lives with us, and I abide by the rules. But ever since my mom got remarried this past January, I’ve basically become public enemy number one. My mom says that I have an offensive attitude and just cut people down. My mom’s husband is threatening to leave. I don’t know what to do. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m naturally a sarcastic person who jokes a lot and he just takes everything so seriously. He has had kids before, but he’s 64 so it was awhile ago. I have avoident personality disorder. I just don’t know what to do. Please help!

    • Thanks for writing. I’m sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I encourage you to talk with another adult you trust, who can help you get help. Teacher, school counselor, boss, friend’s parents are some ideas. It is important, also, that your parents know how you feel.

      All my best,
      megan

  28. I need help. My mother never seems to get it that I want her to be there for me. I started cutting the first time when I was 13, and it was summer holidays. All this time, my mum tells me I’m worthless, I eat too much, I’m ugly, and that if I was pretty, maybe I’ll be worth it. She tells me I’m a bitch, a bastard, and I will never, ever be something in life.

    My father always takes my mum’s side, and it hurts, because I want someone to listen to me too. They always judge on me, without listening to my side of the story. Since I’m Asian, it’s acceptable for parents to beat, and my mother beats me with belts, spatulas, slippers, you name it.

    It got to the point where I’d splurge and stop eating, don’t sleep at night, get nightmares, and cut a lot.

    I need help. Honestly.

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  29. My mom alwayz insults me ..!! near every of my relative,she even calls me by d names which hurts me badly …!! i work hard all day and at the end of the day she tells me dat i’v done nothing and im too lazy …i spoke to her about this but its not working …!!! 🙁

  30. I really feel that my parents hate me! They lock me in my room and once they did it for three whole months!!! I had to sneak out to go to school. I also don’t eat very much because my parents tell me im fat and worthless and there must have being a mistake because they could never had such an ugly child!! I have being told im seriously depressed but my parents don’t care and wont help me! so I cut myself, my friends tell me to stop but I just cant. It also doesn’t help that I have an older brother who is utterly perfect in their eyes. My parents just ignore me unless their yelling at me I try and talk to them but they don’t care. when they have other family over or friends they lock me in my room and tell me to be quiet because they told all of their family and friends that I went to a boarding school in Canberra and only come home once a year! this has being happening since I was 8 and im 13 now and I don’t no what to do I have tried suicide 4 times but my friends have always stoped me!!! I have also run away 7 times but they also catch me pull me home and beat me!! I don’t go to school those days coz im worried that people will ask about it, so far I have missed 3months of school in 2 terms coz of this and I really want some help!!!

  31. Hi im a 13 year old girl. I will be turning 14 in November and sometimes it seems like my parents don’t support me at all and give up on me. Im currently playing volleyball and i have before in the past. But this season my coach put me on the C team for volleyball when ive always been on the A team for 3 years now. Once my parents found out they were SUPER mad and started telling me that if im not put on A team by the end of the season which is in 2 weeks they will be furious and they said i will be punished harshly. But the main reason im here is to talk about my parents and my grades. So for the past 2 years its been my dream to go to the air force academy and become a fighter pilot. My parents were happy i set such high expectations for myself but school started 3 weeks ago and all my grades were doing great till i got 2 bad grades in math at once and that caused my math grade to be at a F 🙁 MY parents are super mad about it and for about a week now i have been trying to get my grade up and when we turn in assignments i get As but that hardly helps my grade at all but everyday we have a 3 question quix which is like 55% of our grade and on the quizzes i usually get 1 wrong so its automatically a D- which makes all my As seem worthless and everyday my mom cheaks my grades on assignments and my grades in general classes and all my grades are at As except for math and this Friday is homecomming and i wanted to go with one of my friends and my mom said if my grade is not at a B- by friday i cant go. I told her today it would be easy to get that grade up if i study and got an A on my test in 2 days. But right when i said that she got mad and started swearing telling me im a failure in life and even if i get an A on the test it wont help my grade so no matter what i cant go to homecomming. I told her that i promise i will work hrd so i can go on friday and she just kept saying ima faliure and i cant do anything in life and i should just give up on being a pilot cause im an idiot and put no effort into anything! she also took my phone and said im also not allowed to go on a trip to arizona in 2 weeks that ive been planning on for 2 years now! IM super mad and my mom said i might as well give up. im really mad and i feel like i failed my mom. I feel like she just dosnt understand me and that i really want to try to bring my grade up its just hard to do with no support from her or my dad. i dont know how to handle this. I dont know how to deal with my mom cause any time i try to explain something to her she just tells me toshut up! Pls help me!!!!!

  32. This chat isn’t very recent so I don’t know if anyone will respond. Anyways, today I am feeling depressed again. Since 5th grade, my parents have always tried to find something wrong about me. Whenever I acheive anything good, they look over it. My parents feed me once per day, whereas my brother is fed 3 times a day. At school, I have friends but their parents dislike me. Everytime I try to say something about our relationships to my parents, they beat me with a belt. They also sneer whenever they like (usually 5 times a day.) I have broken 3 of my teeth due to stress. I cannot get a therapist because I have already asked. I feel that I should run away but I would die. I would like to live my own life in the future. I just don’t know how to get through this because everyday pain is caused to me.

  33. Hi there megan,
    I feel like my parents hate me because, no matter what I do, they are never happy. I get a B they yell and say I’m not good enough. When my sister gets a C she’s just so perfect. I get yelled at for everything l, my mom and dad say I’m worthless and will get nowhere in life. I have really bad anxiety, I have anxiety attacks everyday and at least one panic attack a week, and I don’t know if I should tell them, I know they will just make fun of me and say I don’t know anything. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like running away would be the best option.

  34. Im a 12 year old Christian andChinese boy. When i was growing up and even till now they barely now what i like. Once my mom forgot my Birthday and my name too! I get good grades and have been even offered to skip a grade ( I don’t want to brag really sorry). I think i’m a nice guy, i joke around a lot, i stop and ask how strangers are doing, i just want an average life! I try my best and usually get things done and do a good job at it. Oh yay i won the academic award and my parents response? Ok yay sure great. I always try and be good but just that 1 out of 10 time where i really want to play some games or even read a book, my parents act like i’m a maniac. They beat me yell at me, threaten to kick me out of the house naked, they yell at me and compare me to the better people i know. The things i have like the mac i am typing on i’ve all worked for $10 dollars an hour at school. At school, my teacher also acts like he hates me. He sent me out of class for picking up a piece of paper for crying out loud. Later when he talked to me he said “Don’t help anyone in class, i don’t care.” He monitors me for the whole day! He then calls my parents or emails them about how bad i was at school that day. He tried to suspend me for reading harry potter in class! The principal overlooked this debate and i thank God she understood my situation. Even when a school day is over, i’m scared. I don’t wan’t to get beaten as it hurts like… I don’t even feel safe. If my parents knew about this i probably would get my mac thrown into the trash! Maybe even break it! ( I had an Ipad before that my parents bought me BEFORE they hated me and when i played games on it, they made me smash it myself and throw it in the trash THATS INSANE!!!) My parents were never proud of me. They act like i’m an issue in the house and i honestly have tried everything. Friends at church know about my situation and i know that if i’m not home and my parents don’t see me there they know Andy done something! Ive gotten to certain points of suicide but i think against it as God would want me to respect my life because we were created in his image. So many bad things happen in my life. My mom said the second i turn 18 she would kick me out. I am really scared for my future. I might not get educated properly, ill get kicked out, i might commit suicide, i don’t know what to do. I just want someone to talk to or just be there for me. I really wish they cared. My dad is even worse because he has more power. Once, he beat me so hard i couldn’t walk properly and my butt was purple and greenish and they both said: “We don’t give a damn, we paid for school so don’t start preaching your bullshit you disappointment” Im not going to lie, i cried myself to sleep that night. Im not ashamed to admit it. I really want them out of my life or they changed completely. I need advice please

  35. My mom and everyone else I know (or almost everyone) hates me. I have two counselors (well I used to have two one of the is a b*tch so I’m not going with her anymore). I’m getting called a liar because I don’t like telling people things except my friends because I have told them personal things and they haven’t told. Everyone says talk to a trusted teacher or counselor. Well my school has counselors but I hate asking for “help” from adults that I don’t trust. I have a personal counselor but there are things I don’t even tell her. There was one teacher who knew probably everything about me but now the Sociol worker and guidance counselor said I can’t talk to her about personal things. Then the only people who I have are my friends and that’s a lot of pressure on 13 year old girls. So this all is exactly why I think everyone (almost everyone) hates me ????

  36. Hi. I’m of an african decent and my mom expects highly from me. From kindergarden to 7th grade, I guess I wasn’t a perfect child. I got into trouble at school. Even suspended a couple times. I understand how that was wrong, but after I switched to a new school in 8th grade, I tried not to get in trouble. And I never did. But I guess it was too late, because my mom already decided I was a criminal. Things were fine at school, but at home my mother and I would get into fights almost everyday. Some of them were my fault, but other I feel she overreacted. Now I’m in 9th grade, I have good grades, I’m in band, chorus, and student council, and my mother still hates me. Yes, hates. She told me that she wished I was never born and that I would die. She also hits me, but it’s a common african thing. But sometimes she takes it too far, like slamming my body parts against items and threatening me with scissors. I thought that a mother’s love is the strongest of all. I don’t believe that anymore. I’ve grown to become afraid of her. I miss the days when she was nice to me. Now I forget how its like to be respected in my own house. I don’t want to tell an adult about this because I don’t want to be taken away from her. She is a single mother, and my closest reletives live across the country. I’m all alone, and I have no one to turn to. All I wish is to have a mother who cares about me, like all of my other friends have.

    • Thanks for writing. I’m sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I encourage you to talk with another adult you trust, who can help you get help. Teacher, school counselor, boss, friend’s parents are some ideas. It is important, also, that your parents know how you feel.

      All my best,
      megan

  37. My parents, I know they hate me. I am the 2nd child in my family, and the last, and I’m in middle school. My parents used to beat me ALL the time, they stopped when they found out that I was telling my friends, but they still do mean stuff verbally to me. Like they always call me worthless and stupid. Most of the time they call me ungrateful and a bit** all the time. Today they hit me (which isn’t that often) because I wasn’t laughing with my grandparents. Also they favor my brother, comparing me and him. Often you can see them being sexist too. I am a tomboy and they always tell me to look nice and wear makeup because I’m ugly, but that’s not who I am. They don’t accept me for who I am. I just want help.

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  38. Hi I am Aarya,

    I feeling very bad, my parents are getting away from me my father went away but still in touch with my mom but now my mom is also trying to get away from me I feeling orphan, I m trying my best to be good but my parents and friends are hating me where ever I go people get away from me. My parents just hate me, I am mentally sick. Somebody counsell me how to behave cause I don’t know which is the right move, to say simple, I m feeling dead help me

    • Hi A,

      I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  39. Hello,
    About thirty minutes ago, my dad made me stop studying so that I could help him do my chores that I told him I would do later. I go into the living room to start folding laundry, and then he starts yelling at me saying that I should have done it earlier. I get straight A’s in school, but I haven’t told anyone about his constant yelling because I am afraid people will stop thinking of me in a good way, and start thinking of me as someone being abused. My dad doesn’t tell me he loves me very often, and he grounds me when I try to state my opinion. When I was folding my laundry he said that we need to do chores when it is convenient for both of us. He said that right now was a good time for us. I calmly told him that it is before 8 in the morning, and that I was studying. He said that it was still convenient for both of us, and I kept telling him that both of us doesn’t just mean him. He threatened to ground me, so I decided to shut up and just finish my chores. What can I do to have a voice but not be grounded and yelled at in the face? Thanks!

  40. My mom and dad has problems regarding properties and money issues my mom always acts like a woman who isnt loved or cared by anyone i dont know how she feels but whenever she is angry at anyone from work my dad or at phone she just shouts and scolds us me my siblings with out any reason my elder sister came home a few days ago from foreign after studies and she stays there most of the time of year my younger brother is very much loved and in between me i get most of the scoldings and shoutings from my mom that i dont do anything to help her i was very sweet and kind when i was younger bit now i seem to change gradually i dont know i seem to hate everyone my elder sister always says that im selfish even when im always good to her shes always over sensitive and i do things sometimes that are wierd and hurting to her but it doesnt seem that serios to me everytime i do something like that she ignores me doesnt talk to me and says that im selfish consrantly on my face without even thinking how i will feel she and my younger brother seem to connect well but i cant really seem to make anyone close to understand how i feel and that im hurt i cant seem to connect with them what should i do my sis is always calling me selfish i know she does a lot for but i seem to grow distant from her and my mom never notices anything because shes always busy or just doesnt see things and i feel like nobody likes me and that everybody dislikes me that i shouldnt be with them that i should die

    • Thanks for writing. I’m sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I encourage you to talk with another adult you trust, who can help you get help. Teacher, school counselor, boss, friend’s parents are some ideas. It is important, also, that your parents know how you feel.

      All my best,
      megan

  41. I Dont Know What To Do…
    I am a 16 years old Indian Boy….
    My parents fight a lot and there is not a single second in my life that i can take a sigh of relief.Their frustration is transferred to me.In order to forget the things back home I try to be with my friends and forget those things.My parents never trust me and whenever i take a single step like play Playstation they starts yelling on me.I hate my life because now my parents have stopped my outings with my friends and i have no entertainment in my life.The only thing I can do is Sleep and Sleep.I wanna suicide because nothing can happen as it is going since 3 months.Even on my birthday in the month of April this continued and now i am tired of my life.

    • Hi,

      I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  42. My parents always see other kids work and think that I’m being dumb sad part is Most of my grades are B and C I’ve never gotten a D and my parents think I spend most of my day just being lazy without realising I stress so much that I stay in the night to actually wind down today I had a stupid assignment and was forced to finish it in the last min cause time is never on my side then they criticize me on how it could’ve been an A the other sad part is my brother is a straight A student and my sister skipped a grade and they are both younger than me and my parents never admits it but behind my back they always talk about how I could be better. I know they are just trying to help but a times they expect I’d be a collage student they say ” Oh how come u didn’t do that or how come she got better than you. ” I have told my parents the truth but right now I feel like leaving in the middle of the night. They just never apprecite me and I feel like my sister and brother are shadowing me and its so damn annoying I wish I was dead.

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  43. Hi, I’ve been having trouble with me and my parents lately, I grew up with my mom, because my parents split and until the age of about 4 or 5 my dad wasn’t really around, he seemed to have vanished out of thin air whenever I wanted to spend time with him or anything and I’m pretty sure he just came back to help take care of my younger sister. When my older sister was in high school she had a boyfriend and it ended badly. She was addicted to him and I feel like my parents are basing me off of her because I had a boyfriend but my dad made me break up with him because he was being controlling which I understand. after I went behind their back and started talking to him again the grounded me for 6 months which i understand and I learned my lesson but now that I’m almost a sophomore in high school and I’m almost 16 i wish they’d stop treating me like a full grown adult. My brother who’s 16 is golden boy and my little sisters innocent in their eyes. I have straight A’s and B’s and all I want is to be loved and appreciated just as my sibilants are. I’ve been grounded again for almost 3 weeks now for not telling my parents I like someone. I just don’t why they feel it necessary to treat me as an adult but at the same time a child. They have such high standards for me and my dads not the best at punishing me sometimes he gets rough. It seems like they really hate me and expect me to be perfect and all I want is for them to give the guy I like a chance and to not expect so much of me:,( I have thought of bad things in the past because they have denied me freedom. Why are they like this??

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  44. Hey, I’m 18 and I’m an Asian.
    I literally hate my parents and I feel that they hate me too. When they are in a good mood, they treat me well but when they aren’t, they just blame me for everything. My mom shouts and yells at me 24×7 about all the things I’ve done wrong in my entire life. Yes, I’ve broke their trust in past few months, and also got beaten for that but it feels like this thing will never end. They will never stop shouting at me specially my mom. I have very bad memories from my childhood, I still remember how my father took a bat and started hitting me like anything. I was so hurt amd I remember how I lied to my friends about the scars. My parents have abused me verbally, physically and mentally. I’ve tried to kill myself many a times but failed. I’ve cut myself, they know about this but they hardly care. They make me feel like I’m worthless and don’t deserve any love. I don’t know if I’m in depression or not but I think about killing my self all the time. I cry almost every night. I’ve a Boyfriend and I’ve told him all these things, he supports me but that’s just not enough. My parents are biased and they love my little brother more than me. This makes me so upset. I’ve turned into an angry person. I shout and also hit my mom in defence. I want to leave this place and get rid of them. I hate them so much. Please help me.

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  45. I need no therapy. I just wanted to tell all these things to someone. I feel so lonely and depressed. The only thing that comes in my mind is that how can parents do this to their own child? They shout at me and beat the shit out of me, I feel so disturbed and humiliated. My mother always end up saying that I’m a mistake and I should have died at the time of my birth. She says that they were about to kill me because I was a girl but they didn’t. I’ve two older sisters and one younger brother, which makes me a middle child. My siblings also call me that ‘I’m an extra child’ while teasing me. It hurts me so much. I feel so empty from inside and cry to sleep. I have tried so much to kill my self but failed everytime. My parents calls me names which are so hurtful. I hate them so much. They always have an excuse of why they shout at me, they say I’m lazy and rude to them. But they always start it. They made me like this. They made me rude, argumentative and a hateful person. I wish I was never born because I know I’m worthless amd they hate me.

  46. Hey, I’m a 14 Y.O girl and I am a complete and utter screw up. I made a mistake back in September, lost my phone, got it back around Halloween. Three days later I screwed up again and lost it. I got it back today and messed up again.

    My friend and I where joking about something and I said something that I meant as a joke. We both laughed about it and thought nothing of it. Well my parents flipped when they saw it. I don’t want to repeat what I said.

    Well my parents sat me down for 3 hours. They made me feel like trash. They kept asking me “why did you say this?”, “why is this funny?”. I have no clue to either of those.

    After 3 hours of tears, shouting, and he hiding my face it was over. But their idea of punishment is practically ripping away all of my close friends. Only 1 out of the 3 where involved. They practically said “These are not your friends any more”. My friends are not a bad influence or anything, we are all normally good kids.

    My friends know more about me then my parents do. MY friends earned my trust, my parents try to force it out of me. My only safe place at home is my bedroom. Anywhere else and I’m always on the defensive.

    I get punished for the smallest mistakes. I can tell my parents wanted a normal daughter. But no, they got me. I’m not normal! I have ADHD, my mind is scary, and I have no shame. They try to makeep me normal but it never works.

    They are way to strict about everything. I have a high social media standing and they ripped that away from me like it was nothing. I have over 1 million followers total over all social media platforms. My parents don’t flat out care about it.

    They take away any and everything I find fun. Video games? Gone because of the violence. I cant help it that the non violent games are way to easy and for little kids! Mortal kombat, assassin’s creed, Call of duty. All my favorite games where gone before my eyes.

    They clearly hate me because they do this continually. They don’t care about my feelings or what it does to me. I’ve spent nights crying myself to sleep, I’ve spent nights in fear because of them.

    What do I do?

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  47. Help!!! I have done some things my parents didn’t want me to do. And I’m very ashamed of it. But we’ve gotten through from that. It’s just… every time I fight with my mom, she ALWAYS brings it up. She’s always putting me down. Recently, my sister also made a bad mistake and now my mom is full out yelling and always putting both of us down. I also have a younger sister and she’s okay with her unless she’s had a bad day. Then, she yells at her too. The way she “scolds” us is so hurtful. I’m just an overly emotional teenager but my 2nd sister (not the youngest) is also getting very affected. I’ve tried so much to be a better person. But it seems as if nothing works because the minute I say something wrong, I’m back at ground 0 again. My mom is always complaining about us and she doesn’t even say one thing and stop. She says something and even though we’re all in our rooms, she’s still complaining and complaining. For example, I want to be a doctor. I asked her if she thinks I could handle it. And she said God knows. And I said yeah, but you know not everyone has that capacity. She said everyone has the capacity it’s just some use that for useless things (referring to our mistakes). I couldn’t hold back and said, “do you HAVE to bring it up EVERY time?” At this time, I was helping her with dinner and I kind of spilled something and I burned my hand. And she yells at me. I said, “mom, why are you yelling? Does it make you feel good or something?” Sometimes, I’m like I HATE HER. But then I think, if anything were to happen to her I’d die. I’ve attempted suicide (for attention, I know it’s stupid. I just wanted her to know that not everything is forever and I wanted her to think what she would do if anything her to happen to me. I’m stupid.). I didn’t actually do anything to harm myself though. My mom just cried and said would you have actually done that? You know how stupid that is? I’ve also tried starving myself to prove a point, but couldn’t do it. Not to brag, but my grades are perfect, everyone pretty much loves me, and no one knows how bratty I can become except for my parents. I just feel like I NEED to be perfect to live up to my mom’s expectations. I love my dad, though. He loves us too. When I made my big mistake, he was really upset. But, we moved on. Now, he accepts my mistakes. I love how understanding he is. But with the topic of my mom, he’s like, “she’s your mother… she only does this because she loves you two (referring to my sister)… she’s just trying to teach you.” Also, my mom’s friends are always like “what wonderful daughters you have” because we are very helpful. The other day, she’s like ” ‘wonderful daughters?!’ ha! If only they knew…” I was like what do you mean…?! I’m so emotionally… broke down, I guess. I don’t know. I feel so numb and robotic. I don’t know how to act anymore. I;m becoming socially awkward and I’m just not feeling myself.

    • Thanks for writing. I’m sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I encourage you to talk with another adult you trust, who can help you get help. Teacher, school counselor, boss, friend’s parents are some ideas. It is important, also, that your parents know how you feel.

      All my best,
      megan

  48. Hi,
    Just a 13 year old that needs help! I always feel like I’m lonely because there is no one that I feel close to at home or anywhere. I keep everything to myself and it feels bad. Lately I’ve been trying my best at school and yes, every now and then I might forget to hand in a few things or flunk a test.
    My Father is the least supportive person I know. Many times I’ve tried to open u to him but I feel like he doesn’t care. I feel like my mom hates me sometimes even though she doesn’t show it. She tells me that she loves me but I know she doesn’t because every one just has that feeling. My brother hates me the most, he doesn’t care if I’m older, if I talk to him or not, or if i die because this time its not a feeling, he says these things. Many people see him as a beautiful angel and keep on telling me that he’s younger and he still has a child brain and he doesn’t know if he hurts someone feelings but I know he thinks like a mature person.
    My case is just something I think about say and night wondering why. Sure I admit i can be very rude sometimes that they loose their temper and at times like this I can only blame myself but even the tiniest things get me into trouble. My parents have told me I need to learn to respect them and that their lives were based on respect but as soon as I explain why I’m this person the suddenly don’t have any time. They’re one of those people that are sweet and all, we watch movies and joke around together but at other times they hate me so much. Once I mumbled to myself about how I could just die already two times, once in front of my mom and the other in front of my dad. I never thought my mom would say that she wanted me to go away so that they’d live better lives and my dad just made a reaction although he didn’t care. People would say they were being sarcastic but even sarcasm doesn’t go that far. Therapy isn’t an option because they’d laugh and say i’m stupid, i’m wasting money, or that I’m fine and just overreacting and that I should start by respecting them. I just feel like all I need is someone to talk to, but there isn’t anyone, Sure my mom says I should talk to her but i’d never because sh doesn’t understand. To her all I say is funny, stupid and over reaction.
    I feel like my case goes to far sometimes that I rarely use my social media accounts and made new ones with different names and identities they’d never know about.
    At school I have friends but they all think I’m hyper or crazy but I’m used to it.
    In conclusion, I’m just a girl that loves writing but has unsupportive parents that she thinks hate her as well as her brother .

    Thank you for your time
    B.

    • Me ,too,now,i have 18 year old,my exams scores are bad,my parents think I didn’t study hard any time,but I have tried it,they don’t understand me,they look down on me,they they ofen curse me,say i am stupid ,worthless,my efforts they don’t respect,i don’t the family, i want to go away! Why?why they don’t understand me,they only want to me be as they want.i want to be lonely,no one can bother me.

  49. So today after school I came home and my mom sat me and my siblings down. She first took away our phones which wasn’t the worst part. The thing with taking away the technology is not being able to talk to the people who help me with my already sad life. I don’t really have any friends I go to school with and feel close with. But she came home and we got screamed at about how we never got our chores done and all this other stuff. I understand that she wants us to be clean and do our jobs, but she talks about how she wants to move out because she hates living here so much. It makes me sad because I feel so unloved. I just quit one of my favorite things so that I could get a job. She said we had to start paying our own phone bills, but she gets to decide when we get to use our phones. As crazy as it may sound, without my phone, I feel very unconnected and left out bc of i can’t talk to anyone about anything. Please Help

    • Thanks for writing. I’m sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I encourage you to talk with another adult you trust, who can help you get help. Teacher, school counselor, boss, friend’s parents are some ideas. It is important, also, that your parents know some of the things you have tried because of your pain.

      All my best,
      megan

  50. Hey uh, my problem isn’t as severe but I don’t know what to do in this situation. My mum’s planning to leave the family because of me and my dad doesn’t know what to do. I’ve grown up with my mum for over a decade, and she said for the past 7 to 8 years I’ve been a burden on her. She said she hates this life and wants to leave already because of me, we had an argument and now she refuses to talk to me. It might sound a little selfish but it’s really frightening. I can’t do anything, being so afraid that she’d fire back and continue on with her rant. I really don’t know what I can do now, it’s only been going on for a few days but I’m scared.

    Thank you if you replied, just going through a confusing time.

  51. I’m in year 10, 15 years old (turning 16 in 2 weeks) and I’m really struggling because my whole family hates and agnores me. I’m currently in a family of ten, 4 sisters and 3 brothers + mom and dad and my problem is that all of my siblings don’t give a shit about me or what I do, so if I drink bleach or start crying they will be like “oh well it’s your fault for doing stupid things”. I love them to the moon and back though and I would hate it if anything ever happened to them, but it’s just getting so out of control. I’m going to be 16 next month and I still get pushed around and told what to do by my 10 year old sister. My situation is almost non- fixable because it’s not only my parents who are being such an agnorance but it’s my whole family. I’ve talked about suicide and my parents don’t really care and it pisses me off. PLEASE help me because I want my family to love me rather than hate me because it feels bad being tossed in the trash.

  52. just an hour ago i didn’t want to go to my swim training so i told my parents that, then i went into my room and my dad threw my togs at me and asked me if i was going or not repeatedly, i just ignored him, i sat there for 1 more minute and he came back and asked me again if i was going or not, and asked him what swim cap i should wear because literally all of mine are either way to tight or are ripped so then he threw one at me really hard and started yelling and swearing at my face then slammed the door. i went into my living room and hid behind a chair and my mum found me and asked why i was there so i tried to explain to her what my dad did then my dad came along and they had took away my laptop so i could do my homework, then i tried to ask them where my laptop is so i could do my laptop and i called them all idiots then my dad yelled and sweared at me again and i start screaming and covering my face because i was terrified then my sister yelled at him to stop and i ran to my bedroom and he left. i came back to the living room and my sister came downstairs with her suitcase (because she just got back from camp) and she said she was leaving with my dog so now i am home alone and i don’t know if my sister actually left or not and i scared if my parents are going to come back soon.

    • I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  53. Hey…I need help…alot of help…

    The thought of suiciding is on my head every day, I really wanna suicide… I don’t wanna live this life anymore… I’m an Asian girl (from an Arab country) and yes, I’m Arabic… which makes my situation harder… I’m 12 years old but nearly 13. In my family dancing, singing, wearing skinny pants (kinda), and saying bad words is a shame. It’s like if I dance my parents will definitely disown me… I’m not joking. One time they nearly did… I am a huge k-pop fan that k-pop and friends is the only reason I’m still alive… but in my family… being a big fan girl that is so crazy is not allowed too… I feel so bad… like what is the wrong I. Liking something…

    My parents never actually cared about my private problems and life I. School… and I’m soooo scared to be my self around them… in school I’m that girl that shouts and dances 24/7 and I literally can’t close my mouth.. but home… it’s completely different. Around my parents I try my hardest not to sing or a dance infront of them bc I’ll get punished… I practice dancing alone at my room and the only person that knows at my family is my sister that is younger than me by 2 years. And I am so great full that she is not telling my parents about it… I love her so much… she knows everything about me and never tells my parents about it… but one thing that no one knows is that… I watch inappropriate stuff on my phone…. I feel ashamed and I really wanna stop but I can’t I keep doing it… and I’m super scared that one day my parents will find out that I’m that kind of a girl that says bad words a lot around my friends And strangers… it just hurts me that today one finger got burnt and the other got cut, and my mom started yelling at me for not saying a word. But that was bc I was in pain and frustrated, but she kept yelling at me and said that she will punish me tomorrow…. I wanna run a way. But I don’t know if it’s a good idea… HELP ME EASE I CANT LUVE ANYMORE THEY ARE MAKING MY LUFE WORST THAN IT ALREADY IS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO IM LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW!!!

  54. Hey…I need help…a lot of help…

    I’m an Asian girl (from an Arab country) and yes, I’m Arabic… which makes my situation harder… I’m 12 years old but nearly 13. In my family dancing, singing, wearing skinny pants (kinda), and saying bad words is a shame. It’s like if I dance my parents will definitely disown me… I’m not joking. One time they nearly did… I am a huge k-pop fan that k-pop and friends is the only reason I’m still alive… but in my family… being a big fan girl that is so crazy is not allowed too… I feel so bad… like what is the wrong I. Liking something…

    My parents never actually cared about my private problems and life I. School… and I’m soooo scared to be my self around them… in school I’m that girl that shouts and dances 24/7 and I literally can’t close my mouth.. but home… it’s completely different. Around my parents I try my hardest not to sing or a dance in front of them bc I’ll get punished… I practice dancing alone at my room and the only person that knows at my family is my sister that is younger than me by 2 years. And I am so great full that she is not telling my parents about it… I love her so much… she knows everything about me and never tells my parents about it… but one thing that no one knows is that… I watch inappropriate stuff on my phone…. I feel ashamed and I really wanna stop but I can’t I keep doing it… and I’m super scared that one day my parents will find out that I’m that kind of a girl that says bad words a lot around my friends And strangers… it just hurts me that today one finger got burnt and the other got cut, and my mom started yelling at me for not saying a word. But that was bc I was in pain and frustrated, but she kept yelling at me and said that she will punish me tomorrow…. I wanna run a way. But I don’t know if it’s a good idea… HELP ME EASE I CANT LUVE ANYMORE THEY ARE MAKING MY LUFE WORST THAN IT ALREADY IS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO IM LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW!!! (I have bunch of more things to tell u but by every letter I’m typing a tear drops from my eye so I literally can’t anymore I’m crying like a river that never stops running.

    • Hi,

      I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Many people are afraid to ask about therapy; this is something I see a lot. I strongly encourage you to find a way to get some adult support, as it sounds like you’re in need of it right now.

      All my best to you,
      megan

  55. Hi Tate,

    I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I know you said therapy is definitely not an option right now, but I would encourage you to seek help from a trusted adult. There are lots of people who are willing to work through whatever those reasons may be and find a way to get you set up with a therapist. I hope things get better!

    All my best to you,
    megan

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